Dear Skull Candy,
     I recently purchased a pair of your sound cancelling ear buds. And while they do seem to do their job, i.e, I can’t hear anything, I was just wondering if my ear canals are supposed to bleed after use. And are my ear drums supposed to feel violated like they do? I hope so, or I may not be using them right.
      The truth is, skull candy, I have to shove those things so far up my ears I think they’re poking my brain, and if there’s one thing I currently don’t need, it’s objects poking my brain. Also, wearing them is decidedly uncomfortable as I am a poor college kid who does not currently own q-tips, and someday I will be a starving writer who does not have the means to buy frivolous objects like q-tips, or your sound cancelling ear buds.
       Now, I know I should have forseen what I was getting into. I should have picked them up and thought, “now how do these cancel sound?” I also should have thought “how do these stay in?” But instead, I thought only of my lovely purple lowriders and how fabulous they look and how wonderfully they work, and totally jaded, I bought these ear buds. Shame on you, skull candy. You’re edgy enough. Replace some of the grafiti box art with some grafiti blood around where the ear buds sit, and that will be an honest advertisement.
                                  Love,
                                    Alicia